I last posted here…a year ago. I may have lost the blogger temperament,
since it no longer serves as a motivation to have somewhere to post projects;
it started seeming like another burden on the list of to-dos. And I have a harder
time sewing these days because I have a harder time on all fronts.
Three months ago today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby
boy. In spite of our world being filled with wonderful and amazing things (like
how I could grow such a perfect little person), Chris and I were also
confronted with a terrible reality. James was born still.
James is our first child. To say he was taken away from me
and that I miss him does not skim the surface of life now; to say that there
are days you don’t want to get out of bed does not accurately describe the
constant ache and confusion that is being a parent without your child. Nothing
can touch that kind of misery and, mad though I was that I felt we weren’t
warned about the possibility of stillbirth, nothing can prepare you for it.
Happy three-month birthday, James. Your parents love you.
